It's been a week

Well it's been just over a week since Buttercup crossed the rainbow bridge. I miss her terribly. This week was pretty hard, especially the first few days. I couldn't even drive by the vet's office without breaking down. By the end of the week things were getting a bit better. Having Mac and Pixel around really have helped to cheer me up. We will go either today or tomorrow to pick up her ashes. That I think is going to be really hard. I've been putting that off since Wednesday when they called to let us know they were ready. It just seems like that will be the final closure to her not being here anymore. Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, flowers and emails to cheer me up. She really was like a member of the family so it has meant alot to know that my family and friends cared and loved her just as much as I did!

Puppy Classes

The puppy started puppy classes this past Wednesday (I know I'm a little late in posting!) It was quite the experience! We had decided that it would be best for me to go through the classes with Mac by myself so that he doesn't get distracted by Daniel, but that didn't work! For starters, I arrive at Petco a good fifteen minutes early like the trainer suggested. We were the first pair there so we got to talk to the trainer some which was great. She said that she has also done alot of ADA service dog training so looks like I found my trainer for that portion once he settles down a bit. Well things were going pretty well until the other puppies started to arrive! The first puppy to arrive was some sort of beagle mix (I'll have to ask her again this week), anyway, I know I'm biased but this puppy wasn't really all that cute. I know most puppies are cute, but I think his personality really distracts from his cuteness! Anyway, as soon as he came along Mac wanted to start playing with him and vice versa. I had quite the time getting him under control. I'm not used to being around dogs yet so their version of play is not what I am used to. I know they were just wanting to play, but I was probably being overprotective since Mac isn't fully vaccinated yet (we get that done hopefully this week). This other puppy also has very sharp looking teeth and he was just very hyper which made Mac hyper. Oh, and not to mention, this puppy is getting trained by two children! Gimme a break!

Okay, so on to the class. Once we got everyone settled down and I was able to get ahold of Dan to tell him he needed to join in, things went better. We learned how to do loose leash walking, which is still taking a bit of time for him to learn, but he is getting better. He does alot better with Dan than me. I think he is still trying to get used to the wheelchair. We also learned the "watch me" command which has been very useful around the house. Now that we have treat training more consistent he is much more calm. Although, I do have to brag that he is a very smart puppy. He will sit before you even tell him to because he knows he will get a treat. Then if he doesn't see the treat or the bag he sometimes will ignore me....like he is saying, sorry lady, no treat no sit. We also learned the wait command. This is so that he will learn that he has to wait and go second after Dan or I when entering the house, etc. This will be slightly modified since we'll be using him as a service dog and sometimes he will have to pull the chair. He is still having a bit of trouble with this one when we practice at home. Overall though, he did very well in class. Yes, I know I am a proud puppy mommy! I think is the smartest one in the class!

R.I.P Buttercup

Yesterday our family was torn apart from each other as Buttercup lost her battle with feline leukemia. We thought she was going to be able to beat it and that perhaps her bone marrow would start regenerating again as this past week she seemed to be doing better. Friday night though she wasn't doing well at all. She hadn't eaten at all that day and not much the day before and had started to lose body functions. Dan gave her one last bath to help get her clean and we almost lost her during that process. It was just heart breaking to watch! We got her comfortable and stayed up with her for as long as we could until she fell asleep. We checked on her throughout the night and she was still breathing. I knew what we would have to do the next morning and just dreaded the thought.

Saturday morning we got up and Daniel picked her up and wrapped her in a blanket and brought her to me. I just held her and let her know everything would be okay and that she was going to go to a place that she could be happy forever and healthy again. She purred the whole time I held her. Daniel put her on the bed for a bit so we could get ready to go to the ER for one last time with her. My poor baby just lay on the bed and was trying to get comfortable, but still purred the whole time as I sat there and stroked her fur. Dan picked her up and placed her in my arms and we rushed to the vet. I could tell she was in pain as any movement caused her to cry out in a very mournful meow. We barely made it to the vet. Her breathing had become more labored and she had started gasping for air. I felt sick to my stomach that we had waited this long and she was indeed now suffering! They rushed us back to the exam room and took her from me. I wasn't with her when they gave her the I.V fluids that would help her relax enough to pass on to the Rainbow bridge, but they did bring her back in to me so I could hold her and talk to her and let her know it was okay to go on and keep Grandpa Marvin, Uncle Alan, Nanny and Dan's Grandparents all company while she waited for us to meet her again and cross the bridge together as an eternal family.

Even though I know she is in a better place and my heart is at peace with that fact, I still feel my heart breaking into a thousand pieces all over again every time I see something in the house that reminds me of her or find one of her toys or a piece of her hair. Losing her has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through and I don't know what to do without needing to care for her now. She was my best friend and was always there for me when I needed her. I'm trying to not be sad because I know she wouldn't want me to be sad. Whenever she saw me sick or upset she always came over to cuddle and let me know everything would be okay. I know I have to continue to be strong and go on with life, right now though, the mere thought seems impossible!

We decided to do cremation so that she could be laid to rest in the flower bed and pond that she loved so much. It was going to be very difficult to do a burial there since we will have to move it soon when we put in a new deck and porch and fence. So I picked out a very pretty ceramic urn with kitties on it to put her ashes in and next year on the anniversary of her death if everything is in place, we will spread her ashes in the flowerbed near the catmint plant.

ER visit to the Vet

Friday night we made an ER visit to the vet. I had found one that is open 24/7 and that also does more blood transfusions for cats so I wanted to take Buttercup over there especially since she didn't eat much today and I was getting very worried. We went in about 6:30 and finally got in to see the vet at about 8:30 or so. The clinic was actually pretty busy. This new vet is much better than the others she has seen. He examined her very closely and did a very good eye exam with her. He suggested some x-rays to see if she indeed did have a mass in her abdomen as well as some other blood tests and a test of her blood pressure. When he examined her eyes he did say that he say some hemorrhaging in the back of her eyes which could be from high blood pressure among other things. He did say that she was still able to see some because she did track his finger and her eyes did dilate. We had to leave her at the clinic for a few hours since the tests were going to take a long time and we needed to get home to Mac. We finally went back to the clinic about 1:30 in the morning. The news wasn't all that good. His prognosis is similar to the first vet. All of her other systems and organ functions did check out pretty well, so the culprit to her being sick is definitely her feline leukemia. He is sending off the blood to a special lab to see if they can tell exactly what kind of leukemia she has. He said though that she probably still wouldn't be a candidate for any kind of chemotherapy since she is already so sick. Her red blood count is now down to 6. We discussed a blood transfusion. Dr. Riddle gave us much more pros and cons of doing a blood transfusion. I'm still not sure if it is the right thing to do given that she might get an infection. What we are going to try first is a new medication to stimulate her appetite even more. She'll take this new medication in addition to the predisone and B12 shots. So far this new medication seems to be helping quite a bit. She has been alot more alert since Friday and eating and drinking alot more. I am still hopeful that maybe she'll gain just a bit more weight that doing a blood transfusion will be more beneficial. The other reason to send off her blood samples to the specialist is to see for sure if her bone marrow is definitely not regenerating. If it is even just a bit then we will do the blood transfusion. If it's not then there really is not point in doing the blood transfusion.

A New Addition to our Family

Tonight Daniel and I welcomed a new addition into our family. His name is Mac and he is a very cute black puppy. We aren't quite sure what breed he is, but we are pretty sure he is some kind of Lab/Retriever mix. He showed up at my husband's co-worker's house a few weeks ago and stuck around. She tried to find his owner for several weeks and even took him to see if he was microchipped with no such luck. Since Dan knew I'd been wanting a service dog for some time now, he thought this puppy might be the answer to getting one. After discussing it for about a week, I finally agreed to give him a trial basis. We've named him Mac, short for Macintosh. We figured we might as well stay with the computer theme. Although, I am noticing a pattern...computer-themed animals around here tend to be more of Daniel's pet than mine! So we have lots of training to do with Mac, but so far so good. He is a very good dog and there really are only a few minor things that we have to work out of him, but that's mainly cause he is still a puppy. He learns pretty quick. This is the first time I've ever owned a dog so it should be very interesting. Walking him has been rather fun! I can actually do it with very little hassle and I am sure once he gets used to me more that it will be much easier.

So our life is now more hectic than ever! Buttercup is still with us and hanging in there best she can. The puppy actually likes her alot and seems concerned that she is sick and tries to watch out for her. It's rather cute. Pixel and Mac are still working on getting to be friends, but it is going much better than I expected!

Update on Buttercup

I wanted to give everyone a quick update on Buttercup's status. She's been doing pretty good the last couple of days since we got the news about her condition on Wednesday. I talked to the vet again on Thursday and she said she'd been talking to the internal medicine specialist about Buttercup's condition. They felt that a blood transfusion is still risky given the complications that can go wrong. She did say though that they had talked and felt that putting her on predisone steroid and vitamin B12 shots twice a week might help perk her up more and keep her appetite up. The pills have been a bit difficult to give to her and we've tried everything from the finger down the throat method to dissolving it in tuna juice. Even though she doesn't like it, for the sake of time and to make sure she gets her full dose every 12 hours, we're going with the finger method (i.e. prying her mouth open and shoving the pill in. I hate doing it and so does Dan but it's the best way to make sure she is getting the full dose. The shots are actually a bit easier to do. I'm going to talk to the vet this week and see if we can up those to like every other day or at least three times a week.

She's still eating and drinking. She's getting quite spoiled getting to eat on the couch and picked up to sleep in the bedroom (usually in the wheelchair). I'm hopeful that she'll be able to pull through this for a bit longer. I've started working on a scrapbook page with some pictures of us with her. I wanted something to remember her by Heaven forbid we lose her sooner than I expect.

Thank you to everyone for your love and support during this difficult time.

Buttercup is sick

Over the last couple of months our kitty, Buttercup, has been losing weight. At first we just figured it was due to her losing some of her teeth last year and being on a softer food diet. Then in April shortly after I got back from Utah I noticed a small scratch on her chin. It didn't look good at all so I called the vet the next morning and got her right in. The vet, who is not the normal vet we see, said that it looked like nothing but gave me some antibiotics for her just in case. I gave as much as I could to Buttercup and the sore healed pretty quick so I didn't worry about it. Even though the vet at the time made mention of her weight loss she didn't seem all that concerned. I wish now that she would have looked into it more. Since we took her in for that appointment, Buttercup has continued to lose weight and this last couple of weeks I noticed a dramatic change in her. As soon as I could on Monday. The vet (BC normal vet thank goodness) said that her weight loss was definitely not normal and wanted to run some bloodwork. She said that it could either be something with her thyroid since she was still eating fairly good or it could possibly be a tumor.

Today the vet called with some very bad news. The blood work came back showing that Buttercup has a very low red blood count. The pathologist's conclusion was that the feline leukemia has become active and has gotten into Buttercup's bone marrow and that's whey she isn't producing any new red blood cells. She is now down to 7 lbs! I feel horrible that we didn't take more action sooner when we saw her losing the weight. She was and really still is quite active that I just figured that the weight loss was actually doing her some good. The vet said there really isn't much we can do for her now other than keep her comfortable and try and get her to eat as much as possible. I am still praying for a miracle that maybe by gaining some weight she'll go into remission or something. Since she is anemic from the low red blood count there is the possibility of doing a blood transfusion but the vet said that would only buy her about a month. We are going to see how this next week goes and then make a decision on what to do. I am just not ready to let her go yet! If doing at least one blood transfusion gets me at least another month to be with her then that's what I want to do if we can afford it. She is actually still doing pretty well so I am hoping that as long as we stay on top of things from this point on and keep in regular contact with the vet that may she'll be able to pull through for a bit longer. I just can't bear to lose her right now but I also don't want her to suffer either. I need to do some more research about feline leukemia so if anyone knows anything about this disease please let me know!