Sad day for the mommy-to-be

This morning my parents and I said "see you later" as they headed out on their drive to St. Louis. I know my mom didn't want to get me upset and cause any undue stress on me or the baby so we kept everything as light as possible. They had stopped off at Target before coming over here and brought us a surprise. It's our first baby gifts. Mom said she had a hard time finding anything gender neutral so she just had to get us two things. I of course have to take pictures of both because they are so adorable that words just don't describe them. For now, her nickname for the baby has been pea (as in sweet pea) but she couldn't find anything that said "pea" on it so she had to go with a very cute blanket that has a green elephant on it that says "little peanut".

You're going to be Grandparents Mom and Dad!

Today was a very emotional roller coaster type of day. Yesterday, Sunday the 23rd I started bleeding a bit heavier again. I've been spotting a bit here and there all week so I've been trying to take it as easy as possible. I spent all day yesterday in bed after calling Joy. She was a bit more concerned because there was a small blood clot yesterday that I passed. She suggested we move the ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday up to Monday (today) just to be on the safe side. After getting off the phone with her and Dan helping me to get calmed down, he put me back to bed and made me some more tea and also made me one of the Betty Crocker Warm Delight Desserts that I had been craving but hadn't yet tried yet. That actually tasted really good and was the first thing that I've had since being pregnant that I really truly enjoyed. I'm going to have to be careful about eating too many sweets! I don't want to gain too much weight during my pregnancy.

At 8:00 this morning I called to see when I could come in for the ultrasound. They had an opening at 9:15 so we took that appointment. We still got there a good 15 minutes early to try and get in as soon as possible, but we still ended up waiting till almost 9:20 to see the ultrasound technician. She brought us to the back and confirmed my last menstrual cycle. She told us that there was a chance with the baby still being so small that we may not see much if anything today and not to worry as that happens quite often. As soon as she started the ultrasound she was able to see the gestational sac which she said was a very good sign. Now we just had to wait for her to locate the embryo. It seemed like an eternity before she found any sign of the embryo, but in all reality it was probably about 5-10 minutes.

I think now that I have seen my baby on an ultrasound I can honestly say that I now understand why pregnancy is such an emotional time for parents to be. Seeing that little tiny diamond ring size dot and knowing that is going to be our baby was the biggest moment of my life. It finally set in for both of us that we were going to be parents! As soon as the technician left the room for me to get dressed, Dan leaned over and kissed me and told me how much he loved me.

After we got done with that appointment we went to a celebratory breakfast at IHOP. Dan finally was feeling optimistic enough to call his best friend Shannon who was let into the small circle of secrecy. Next it was off to the store to buy groceries for tonight's dinner where we would make the big announcement to mom and dad. We decided to go with a "baby" theme. We got baby carrots, baby corn, baby potatoes, baby greens and decided to make Dan's ribs since he uses Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce. I also invited my best friend Nikki and her husband over to share in the good news.

Dinner was a bit nerve racking but luckily the conversation at first centered around both my parents and Nikki and Bruce moving and they were so caught up in that conversation that I was able to relax some. It was funny that nobody really noticed the theme to dinner. We even used our nice china for the occasion. Right after dinner we brought out the cake that we had purchased that said congratulations on it. At the same time I handed my dad an "early" father's day card. On the front of the card it said "#1 greatest dad and #1 greatest grandpa..." and on the inside of the card I put one of the first sonogram pictures in it. He read the card outloud and then took a look at the sonogram and started to stutter asking what it was (I think he knew he just wanted to pull my mom along). I told him to pass it to mom and that she would know what it was. Just as she did, Dan winked at Nikki and she figured it out and almost started to cry. Mom took the card and it took less than a second to figure it out. To really see their reaction, here's the link to the Youtube video:

Our first scare in the pregnancy

Last night I started to experience some bleeding. I have heard this is normal some during the first trimester, however it doesn't help the already paranoid mother-to-be to see it when it happens. Daniel made me some chamomile tea as he had heard that was safe for pregnancy and helped calm the nerves. I'm not quite sure it did though! This morning I called the doctor's office right away and talked with my provider. Joy said that everything should be fine and to just take it easy. She also said I could come in for labs just to double check on everything to help relax my nerves. Of course I took her up on her offer. The labs came back just fine though so now I just have to relax and keep my hopes up for a healthy and safe pregnancy. I think once I have that first ultrasound I will feel much better as to how things are progressing. My biggest worry right now is that I might have pushed things too much this weekend or last night with my other medical procedure that I have to do on a regular basis. I can't help but think that if I were to miscarry that it is going to be my fault. I know it wouldn't be, but I think that is something every expecting mom goes through especially those that do have a miscarriage.

Mother/Daughter Weekend in Denali

This weekend mom and I took the Alaska Railroad train trip up to Denali. It is something that we both have always wanted to do and she wanted to do it before leaving for St. Louis. It was such a great weekend. The train was incredibly comfy and there were only about 6 people total in the car we were in so it was very laid back. The train conductor, Steve, was incredibly nice to us as well and had so many great stories to share with us. On the way up we got to see lots of wildlife too. Mom saw a moose shortly after we left and then we both got to see a black bear, several beavers and trumpeter swans. On the way back mom missed seeing all 4 black bears (I only got to see one of the 4), but I guess that's what you get when you chance using the restroom! The scenery was absolutely spectacular. We even got to see Denali some on the way back. That is the interesting thing about the mountain, in the summertime it can sometimes be harder to see because there tends to be more cloud coverage. We did get lucky though and did get some pictures of it.

When we got to Denali, 8 hours after leaving Anchorage, we were both ready to get into our hotel room and rest some even though the train ride was pretty relaxing. However, when we got off the train and met the hotel escort, we found out that they did not have us listed as needing a wheelchair accommodating room. We boarded the bus to the hotel and were assured by the staff that we would have a room by the time we got to the hotel. As you can guess, they were wrong as well. We had to finally have the manager come out and work things out. It took us nearly 3 hours from the time we got off the train till we could get into our room. The good thing that came out of it though was that we got free dinner provided by the hotel while we waited for our room to become available. The room was nearly down at the other end of the resort, only accessible by you guessed it....another bus! I was so tired of buses by the time we got to our room! Luckily my morning sickness hasn't set in yet and I was able to cover up the pregnancy during the whole trip. It was incredibly difficult though. Mom kept offering me Dr. Pepper and I am sure she wondered why I kept turning it down. I also tried eating as healthy as possible and stashing saltine crackers when I could.

Now, if you are asking yourself why I didn't spill the beans or how I was able to keep the secret for the whole entire trip, it wasn't and I nearly did. I really wanted both my parents to find out at the same time though plus also make sure that we were progressing well in the pregnancy for a bit longer and get some more questions answered before breaking the news. It has been incredibly hard now telling the whole world our good news but I know it is for the best right now.

Round 2 of Labs Today

Yesterday morning I went to get my progestrone level rechecked since it was a tad on the low side on Monday. The good news from those results are that all my levels have sky rocketed! So no more labs for a couple of weeks at least. I am still taking the medicine Joy prescibed to me though just to ensure that the progestrone levels stay where they should be. Joy also scheduled me for my first ultrasound! On May 25th we will hopefully get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time! They call it a "viability ultrasound". It's funny how technical everything with Joy seems to be. It makes it seem like everything you always hear about or see on t.v. and in movies is just being romanticized. After hearing when our first official ultrasound and OB appointment is going to be, I think it has finally hit that I am really pregnant! I am definitely starting to feel a bag of emotions all at once. Up until now it still didn't seem real and it still doesn't a bit. I am sure once we go to that first ultrasound it is really going to sink in!

It's Official - We're Having a baby!

This morning we got up early to make it into the doctor's office as soon as they opened. Daniel has been so wonderful to me (as he always is I might add) since we found out we were expecting. He makes sure I am taking my vitamins and made sure I ate a well-rounded breakfast this morning. Other than already starting to have cravings, I am feeling great.

We didn't have to wait long at the doctor's office to get the blood workup that she had ordered. The test included a pregnancy test to confirm, a check of my thyroid level and a check of my progestrone level. All in all it was somewhat anti-climatic. However, as we were waiting for me to get a shot, boost rather, of progestrone, my arm started bleeding where they had drawn the blood. It wasn't anything major, but I just thought it was funny because I hardly ever bleed like that! I guess all those hormones are really kicking in! I was told I'd have to wait till toward the end of the day to get my results.

Well, when we left Joy's office (she is the fertility specialist we've been seeing for awhile now) I really wanted to stop by my primary care doctor's office and see if they could move my appointment I was to have on Thursday to sooner just so I could let her know and discuss things with her. As luck would have it, when we got there to talk to her office staff, they had an immediate opening! So of course we took it. I also had an extra incentive to go in earlier. I knew she could run a urine test and confirm the pregnancy within 30 minutes!

As soon as we got to the exam room, the nurse asked what we were being seen for today. When I told her the news she was very excited! She knew we'd been trying to conceive for awhile and was one of the few people who actually did know. I went ahead and completed the traditional urine test despite Dan wanting me to just wait for the blood results instead...something about killing rabbits? I think it's an old wives tale he has heard somewhere. However, I went ahead and took the test.

We didn't have to wait long to get the results either. Within about 15 minutes the doctor came into the room with the announcement "Well here's the first piece of paper for the baby book" and was all smiles. It looks like my due date is around January 15th. At least I avoided a December baby, just barely though!

We spent the rest of the day doing research on the computer to start preparing for our first OBGYN visit and other health insurance related matters. Dan took the day off to celebrate himself. I believe his comment was "I just found out I am going to be a father, I think I deserve to take the day off!" I'm glad he did too because it gave me a chance to rest while he did housework for me and we could just enjoy the day together. It was great being able to relax and take a nap while he cleaned the yard. I could definitely get used to being pampered like this!

I called the fertility specialist later in the afternoon. She said that for the most part things looked good but that my progestrone level was a tad lower than what she would like. Mine is at 15.9 and she really likes it to be over 20. So I have to go on progestrone for the next 5 weeks just to make sure that everything is going to stay stable and hopefully get those levels up a littler higher for baby's safety. I have to go back on Wednsday to have my levels rechecked.

What a Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day, May 9th 2010. It's a day to celebrate all the wonderful mothers who do so much for their families. I have to admit, despite having a wonderful mother and a great mother-in-law, since I have been married, it is the one holiday I haven't really looked forward to as it is just another reminder that Daniel and I still have not been able to have children despite our best efforts. We really did not want to do any extreme measures and have left it in Heavenly Father's hands as to what size our family will be.

I figured that this Mother's Day would be similar as to most others since getting married. Dan's mother always sends me a card celebrating my "mothering" her grand furbabies as she calls them. It usually helps me get through the day. We then take my mom (and dad if he is in town) to either a brunch of some sort or dinner.

This year was a bit different. Dan had to go to work in the morning so we couldn't do breakfast with mom this year and opted for dinner instead. When he got home, he had gotten me a beautiful teapot shaped ceramic teapot flower pot and a beautiful spring bouquet. We or rather I joked about how it really should be called Happy Primary Caregivers Day to honor those who are not necessarily "mothers" but still take care of their little family/home just the same. We needed to go to the store before dinner to get a couple of things. While we were there, I decided that since it was Mother's Day and I already knew I was "late" with a certain female ritual, to pick up an EPT test. I honestly didn't think it would be positive since it hasn't ever been. Then we went to dinner with mom and had a very nice dinner.

Am I leaving you hanging like this on purpose? Of course not. This time next year I will be celebrating my first official Mother's Day! By the time this posting is made public, I will be 12 weeks pregnant! We will have told my parents and Dan's parents by then. I'm only hoping that mom is not too upset that we didn't tell her on Mother's Day. Honestly, I was still in shock (yes I for some reason took the test before dinner in case you are wondering) and we wanted to wait to get official confirmation from my doctor first and get past that risky 6-8 week period that I have read so much about in the last 24 hours. I also really wanted to wait for my dad to be back in town so we could tell both of them at the same time. I am extremely nervous and scared right now about miscarrying and just don't feel as though I can take having to tell people twice if something were to happen.

We love you all and look forward to taking this journey together and sharing it with all of our family and friends that we love so much.